Dear 2010,

You are the year I really discovered myself.  In a wild world armed with a single weapon, my camera, you are a year worth remembrance. A year of survival, as everyone else crumbled, to remain firm. Something I would never have lasted through without the graces of God, my family, friends, and the escape of photography.  I bid farewell to a year truly worth calling a teacher as you step out the door waving goodbye; never to return. As much as I plead for you not to step into the past, what is there I can do? A year that defined my life in the cruelest of ways, my biggest heartbreak, and my biggest time of healing. My world was turned upside down, crushed, destroyed when we were forced to leave our church, the cruel evil jealousy of people I will never understand for as long as I live.  This will forever leave a scar on my heart that I know will never heal. I began to look at the world a far different way then, even through the lens of my camera.  My photographs evolved into something worth being called photographs, not just a pretty picture, but a true message. Although such a scar I’ve oh so enjoyed the beautiful memories and laughter that filled the other days. Laying in the cool grass watching the clouds race each other across the blue sky, creating works of art to the tune of laughter with such dear friends, an experiencing my high school years.  I cannot thank you all for the support and love I have receive from everyone. I held tight to my dream and each comment from others were like wings taking me strait to it. I bid farewell to such a historic year for me and look with brand new eyes to 2011 where my life will change drastically. You have seen me through the worst of tears, roaring laughter, and silence. Thank you for being a splendid year.

A Couple of Resolutions:

Stop dreaming of going to an Art College, accomplish it, no matter how many bloody scholarships and essays I have to write.

Build up courage, never let fear paralyze my urge to photograph something.

See the world I’m dying to see.

Work harder, dream bigger, trust more.

Use my grandmami’s advice “Kill them with kindness” Have a kinder heart,  be gentle to all because everyone is fighting a battle of their own.

Work on my fear, putting myself in front of the camera so that I can feel what others feel when I’m photographing them, master it.

Learn some technical sides of photography but NEVER lose the creative power

Learn to love photoshop, even if I wish to kill it most of the time.

Become a better photographer.

Goodbye 2010,

you have taught me so much,

gave such gifts,

and I’ll never be the same.

I adore you,

but you must move on,

even if it means without me.

<3 Jessica

I had a ranting conversation in the middle of my yearbook room with a close friend and I knew it was something I had to write about. Not only is it ranking on my top list of Photographer Pet Peeves its something that keeps on growing and growing in the photography world. I believe creativity is being bred out of our generation. Creativity itself is becoming extinct. In its stead people are believing the false lie that it can be bought with flimsy paper money. The photography world is being populated by people who believe all you need is a fancy camera and you can take the greatest photographers in the world. Let me burst that little bubble of happiness you have there darling. Photographers are passionate artists that see the world in such a different way worthy enough to be captured to show others. It does not matter what kind of camera you have as long as you have the creativity to thrive your ideas.  I shot half of my photography career with a Sony Steady Shot and I took pictures that defeat some of my photos taken by my Nikon D90. Buying a bigger camera doesn’t mean your going to get better pictures. It certainly does help you but its something you really should grow into. Photography itself is a learning-growing process, you start out taking photos of EVERYTHING that moves or does not. I admit to doing so and over time you start to develop a style and WALA your a photographer.  Photographers are simply born with sight different from regular people. I started  my photography from a young age running around with a small plastic fisher price camera taking the worst of photos but the strive and interest I had for the world never stopped me.  Yes so for those who think having an expensive camera is going to make you a photographer its a LIE. Someone great once said “Owning a Nikon doesn’t make you a photographer, it makes you a Nikon owner.”

Stalker -noun

Actions to follow or approach (game, prey, etc) stealthily and quietly

Something you are NOT

Ello loves,  I am just writing this little blurb due to my good experiences this past couple of months.  I recently have been roaming around facebook and have received many little comments here and there from friends, people who I hardly talk  to, and some I haven’t even seen before about their love for my photography and how they “stalk” me. You all make me burst with happiness when someone stops me in the bathroom at school to tell me they love my photographs and the look on their faces I can tell that they are super embarrassed.  You really do build me up more than you will ever know with something as small as that. As for the stalking, do NOT think that I get freaked out nor do I think you are a complete wako for looking though my photographs, even albums dating back a year ago. I simply ADORE it! The fact that people love my pictures in secret gives me a childish squeal of excitement. Before I hardly even knew people looked at my photographs, let alone stalked them. With rising comments from different people who are a little shaky to tell me or think they are creepy to like or comment my photos I’m here to assure you I will 100% never think of you that way. You guys and gals are simply fabulous and really have helped me grow. Comments from you all (good-bad) help me improve on areas of my photography so I can become better than I was before. I thank you all for reading this and loving my photography. It means more than the world to me.

<3 Jess

You cannot simply force a musician to write the next song nor an artist to paint the next masterpiece-they need pure inspiration. Inspiration from a growing idea sprouting in their head or an experience they wish to convey.  I’ve come to realize I work very much like this. Whenever models or people in general wish to do things their way without me in thought the photographs turn out horrible-flat out horrible-because there is no passion only a robot getting bossed around. Honestly at times I’m fine with this but models and people need to understand that the photographer is the one in charge-taking the shots, literally. Its very nice to throw in comments and opinions about things because many will indeed follow and others will kindly say that’s not going to work, but do NOT enforce your opinion. Most photographers think about their photos and spark certain ideas that appear anytime with anyone they cannot be forced out just because you’d like a nice photograph. Then there are people who automatically think of themselves as models when I’m photographing them, and I do admit that is my strength-turning the “average joe” into a model but you must take direction from me before or you just end up looking ridiculous.  A model is there for the photographer 98% of the time so you must think like that. Dont believe you are there to get nice photos and I better be blessed to be there because I’m sure I could find anyone else so be respectful of time and direction. The model and the photographer must work together in a conjoined team if the photograph is going to turn out anything close to decent. They may either know the model quite well or not at all-the mastering of flexibility and social skills. Of course it will be awkward the first couple of shoots but as the camera keeps snapping you’ll laugh and start trading off ideas and getting excited which is what we want. We dont want snooty models who have what they want in their heads-because honey its not going to work out that way. You are a blank canvas for the photographer to create.

A gray musky day you stroll into a glorious art museum snap a photo of Picasso’s finest painting scurry home print it out and put it on your wall with your signature. Your relaxing on a cool afternoon and your brothers friend is singing a melody he has just written and you record it and call it your own because you enjoy the sound. These all sound extraordinarily ridiculous yet it happens in the photography world every moment. Just because you enjoy something like a photograph does not mean you should right click-save as-and keep it on your laptop to print out or use some place else. Your literally stealing someones photograph-what does that mean? maybe nothing to you but to the photographer it means time, thought, passion, and creativity all stolen by someone who has no such respect. Others may say it its flattering for people to be using someones  photographs but I’m here to let you know it certainly is not, its more scary than anything. I don’t steal your things and use them for something else in my liking. I apologize for the rudeness but other photographers feel the same way whether they have told your or not. Its a matter of respect to not take someone elses work without permission yet it keeps going on, images floating about the web. Photographers risk this fact by using the internet to get their photographs out into the world, a known and growing fear, but I hope that you all are much more respectful and understand the view of a photographer. ASK dont take. Its illegal. Most of you are extraordinarily fabulous and I adore you but one person ruins it for everyone else

So I’m going on a slight rant this evening as I’m trying to fall asleep to the EXTREMELY loud wind roaring outside.  Now that I have realized it, my camera is a big part of my image.  Whether at my high school football game, sneaking down the halls, or taking a walk I always seem to be “the girl with the camera”.  I’ve never even realized anymore how much I have my camera with me, awaiting the perfect shot or just having it with me just in case.  A hobby that morphed into a passion has become something so much more to me as a person and a high-school-er. I don’t consider myself a pro at all nor my love for photography a big buisness, I’m just the girl with the camera. Even though some day I wish to grow to be a professional and someday have my own buisness each day I learn a little more to get me there. The funny part was I always dreamed of being a painter because painting just relaxed me in the greatest way but it was when I picked up the camera I realized there was something more here. I could capture memories that would be worth so much as the years hurried on.  With one photograph I could make a person flash back to that second, that moment worth capturing and bring them back to that very day.  I’m the girl with the camera stuck in the middle. I dont obsess over my equipment getting the latest gear or being over critical and annoying about things nor do I buy the most pricey camera there is and run around pretending I can take pictures. I know I have an eye for things and I thank God everyday for giving me photographer eyes. Sight that sees the world so different and people so differently to bring out the best in everything.  Though there are some great things in this world that cannot be photographed yet its just a challenge I’m willing to attempt. I’ve also come to realize the love I have for photographing people. Just so many different faces, laughs, smiles, hearts, to capture I adore it. I never want any one picture of a person to be the same because not any one person is the same.

Well I need to stop talking because I have a very early shoot tomorrow!

<3 The girl with the camera